"I'm Bored!!!":

How Catholic Moms can handle the dreaded summer doldrums without micromanaging their kids.

Have your kids been complaining about boredom?  What's the best response?

We're making two bold claims today:  First that boredom is good for your kids, and second, that with just a little empathy and coaching, they can figure out what to do with their time and learn to handle boredom on their own.

**The Magic of Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle: Embracing Summer Boredom**

My daughter, one of them, she is six, and she just loves the audio book of Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle's magic. And honestly, it's not the most amazing piece of literature out there, but it's very entertaining.

Anyway, as many six-year-olds do, she likes to listen to her favorite bits on repeat. Her absolute favorite chapter, and it cracks me up, is called the "Wattles I Doers." In this chapter, there are "literally doers," which are children who are bored to death because they can't make up their minds about what to do without direction. It's amusing to think that this is what most kids turn into in the first weeks of summer.

So, if your kids are bored right now and telling you that and whining, you're not alone. It's really normal. Summer comes with a lack of structure, and I'm not saying that's a bad thing. Boredom isn't actually bad for your kids. Studies have shown that boredom can be very good for them. For example, a study published in the Journal of Experimental Child Psychology in 2017 explored the relationship between boredom and self-directed learning in children.

In the study, children aged 6 to 8 years old were divided into two groups. One group was placed in a boredom zone, a room without anything to do or any specific activities. The other group participated in an interesting planned activity. Afterward, both groups were given a choice of engaging in various activities. The researchers found that the kids who had been in the boredom room demonstrated higher levels of curiosity and engaged in much more self-directed exploration compared to the control group.

This study is just one among many that have shown how kids benefit from boredom. Boredom can help them develop the skill of making their own decisions and handling their own problems.

So, when a kid comes to you and says, "I'm bored," what they're really saying is, "I want you to make decisions for me and direct my time." In today's world, kids are used to being directed and entertained from sunup to sundown with school, homework, chores, and extracurriculars. Then suddenly, summer hits, and unless you're signing them up for camps all day long, they're just going to have a ton of unstructured time.

Of course, it's deeply uncomfortable for them to be handed their time with no instructions or provisions. It's overwhelming, and they may not know where to begin because they don't have this skill set yet.

But here's the thing, if you want to teach your kid to handle boredom, you have to give them a chance to practice that regularly. Yes, that means you will hear that dreaded "I'm bored" as they're figuring it out. But we have to go into that knowing and deciding ahead of time that it's worthwhile, even though it's going to be uncomfortable, and even though we don't really like to listen to the whining. We want to raise resilient problem solvers and let our kids learn how to be self-directed. So it's worth that sacrifice. It's worth that discomfort. It's worth giving it a chance.

When you recognize that their boredom problem and their coming to us is just a temporary situation, and it's an opportunity for our kids to learn the valuable skill of self-management, it becomes easier to handle.

As parents, our role is not to constantly provide entertainment but to guide our children in finding their own solutions. When your kid says they're bored, keep the ball in their court if you want them to learn how to be self-entertaining and manage their own time. Respond to them with curiosity. Ask them, "What do you think you should do about that?" This encourages them to take ownership of the problem. Spark their thinking process without giving them direct answers.

I've noticed that when I asked this question, they usually respond with a deeper thought like, "Well, there's no one to play with," which indicates something beyond simple boredom. They might be dealing with loneliness or not knowing what to do by themselves. So let them process and talk about it, and offer empathy.

In my experience with my four kids, they don't always want to play together. That's pretty normal, and I don't force it. Sometimes they rotate who they're playing with, and it generally evens out. They may want to engage in different activities at different times, and that's okay.

I don't interfere with these natural groupings, unless there's intentional unkindness. I want my kids to learn that they're responsible for their own happiness and fun, and their siblings are not responsible for entertaining them. However, I ensure that each child's social needs are met by providing other social opportunities.

So, how do we help our kids figure out what to do when they're bored? You'd be amazed at how good they are at this naturally. Babies, for example, are driven to learn, explore, and do things. Their curiosity and self-entertainment are innate qualities. Yet, as they grow, we tend to get in their way, leading them to believe they can't handle boredom.

Let's use the classic example of a cardboard box. Kids are often said to need just a cardboard box to entertain themselves more than toys. Why is that? Because a cardboard box is open-ended. It can be a fort, a rocket ship, or a dollhouse, and most kids can figure out what they want to do with it right away.

However, some kids might still feel stumped when faced with a cardboard box. This could be due to being out of touch with their creativity or lacking the confidence to make decisions. In such cases, parents can help by being engaged in their own hobbies and activities. Demonstrating creativity and being engrossed in something interesting can inspire them to find their own creativity and value.

The trick is to be hands-off and affirm whatever they decide to do (within reasonable boundaries). Allow them to explore without imposing solutions on them. The more immersed you are in your own activities, the more interesting it becomes to your child. This process helps build their confidence in their creative abilities.

One common approach parents often take when their kids say they're bored is to suggest giving them chores to do. However, this can lead to negative associations with chores. Instead, try to keep chores in the teamwork category, emphasizing contributions rather than punishment.

Lastly, instead of offering yes or no questions when your kids express boredom, ask open-ended questions that prompt them to think creatively. Avoid solving their problem for them. By giving them the chance to explore options and ideas on their own, they will learn to take ownership of finding their own fun and entertainment.

So, embrace the summer boredom and use it as an opportunity to raise resilient, self-reliant individuals. Allow your kids to navigate their leisure time, and you'll be amazed at how their natural resilience and creativity shine through.